Paciencia

oaxaca is teaching me many kinds of patience. if you know anything about my less admirable qualities, you’d know that many of them are related to my impatience—impatience with time, with school, with love, and with life in general. i’m never quite content with where i am.

i came here wanting very specific things. i want to leave with at-least-almost-fluent spanish. while my spanish has certainly improved (sometimes i even find myself thinking in spanish, which is cool), i’m still not nearly as fluent as many of my classmates. i want to get fit. although i walk multiple miles every day, i haven’t been good about going to the gym. i want to know the city. twice already i’ve gotten lost.

as i’m writing/complaining i’m also reminding myself that i’ve been here for two weeks. TWO WEEKS out of the fifteen overall. and yet i already feel pangs of disappointment, as if i’ve let myself down, as if time is running out, as if the wonderful things i newly have are already fleeting.

maybe most of all, i want to form friendships. this afternoon some classmates and i sat down for tlayudas, sharing stories and giggles until we almost cried. later, my friend kat talked me through much of the anxiety i've brought with me from richmond. chucho, my host brother, just left my room, leaving my face rosy with laughter. i already feel so close to many of the people here, and getting to know them has been really easy, really natural. and with them, i know nothing is fleeting.

i hope that while i’m here i learn to sit back and let things come as they do. live in the now, as someone i admire frequently tells me. gain some patience.

and for the record, the past two weeks have been really, really great overall. more later...